Notes of a Paranoid Schizophrenic

Yesterday I went skiing with six friends. My 50^th birthday was just a few days ago, and one of my close friends had made the 5 hour trip from his home in Vernon to attend. He decided to make it into a holiday, so he booked off the whole week and brought his skis, golf clubs, and his mountain bike.

So yesterday was the big ski day. We had invited a woman to come with us, a woman who had been at my party, she was an old friend that we had lost touch with. During the process of calling each other’s cell phones to try and get organized and meet up for our ski day, I accidentally called her phone a second time without knowing it, and my phone sat on the breakfast table picking every comment of all who were present.

The rest of the ski party had already gathered at another friend’s place for breakfast, and all the others in the group were men. All the men were behaving badly and saying things that could only be described as sexist and nasty. What none of us knew was that our female friend was listening to every word, as various people described her as being controlling; we made unkind comments about her husband (whom she is in the process of splitting up with). We said hurtful things that she didn’t deserve, and she heard them all. Particularly interesting about this awful scenario is that one of my friends has a romantic interest in this woman, and would have done anything to impress her. Unfortunately, he said some of the worst things about her, and she heard those things too.

In spite of the awful things that she had heard, she met up with us to go skiing anyway. During one chairlift ride, when it was just her, the friend who was interested in her, and I, she looked over at us and said, “Can I tell you guys something?” At which point she told us what she had heard over the phone, the things that none of us knew she had heard. She recounted each slight, each blow, with total accuracy. And then she started to cry.

I honestly didn’t know what to do. I was in shock. I was more embarrassed than I have ever been in my life. My friend felt even worse, as he had said some horrible things, things that had invoked peels of laughter among the other men. Each of us tried in our own stumbling way to apologize; it was really kind of hopeless, as we knew that none of those things could be unsaid. However, she seemed to forgive us, and we skied together for a few hours. Then she left, leaving the rest of us to ponder our sins.

The incident pretty much robbed me personally of any joy that day. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Discussing it with my friend, we decided that the lesson to be learned is this:

“Never say anything about anyone that you wouldn’t say directly to them”.

Above all else, show your kindness and compassion. It’s an easy gift to give.

***The purpose of this blog is to learn how to be happy and successful***