Notes of a Paranoid Schizophrenic

“Money doesn’t buy happiness!” - I’ve heard this old saw many times in my life, and I think it’s time to put some real perspective on this old piece of nonsense.

While I do not advocate that money necessarily makes people happy directly, I would postulate that most of the people who say that money doesn’t buy happiness are people who don’t have any money.  It’s a nice simple way to justify being broke.

Yes, some people who have money are unhappy.  Perhaps desperately so.  But is it the money that’s making them unhappy?  I don’t think so.

Conversely, there are some people who live in desperate poverty who are very happy.  But again, does their state of personal happiness have anything to do with money?  Again, I don’t think so.

To the average canadian who self-righteously claims that money doesn’t buy happiness, I would ask that person, “what if your wife/mother/brother/sister/son/daugher was sick and needed expensive surgery?  Wouldn’t a bit of money help you to feel happy that you were able to afford the medical help that your loved one needed?  What if your pet was sick and needed veterinary attention?  If you couldn’t afford the vet, you’d lose your beloved pet.

What about vacations?  The world is a huge fascinating place, but without money it is not possible to explore any of it. Vacations are educational and restorative, and leave a person feeling good and alive.  I see no evil in the pursuit of money if you can show your children the wonders of the world with it.

Education is another consideration.  I think very few people would argue against the merits of a good education… but education is VERY expensive.  Money buys education, education gives you a leg up on the world and a chance to realize your dreams, and if you are engaged in important and rewarding work, and you are realizing your dreams, you are well on your way to being happy.

In conclusion, I would have to say that there is not much truth in the claim that money doesn’t buy happiness.  Neither does poverty!  Happiness, after all, comes from within.  But money opens a world of possibilities, and I believe that with more possibilities, there is a greater chance at happiness.

When the Beatles wrote the words, “I don’t care too much for money - money can’ t buy me love”, they were already rich.  It’s easy to claim that money doesn’t buy happiness if you are already rich.  My bet is that if The Beatles lost their fortunes, they would probably have more gratitude for what money had given them.

As for me, I have never had very much money, and I know that that is no reason to consider my life to be unhappy.  But I think about money all the time, and no matter how I try to look at the supposed evils of money, I sure would like to have more of it!

Money is not evil, people are.

Sometimes I wonder if my computer is a time-wasting device or if it is a valid productivity tool.  After thinking about this today, after I had made a decision to do something productive with my computer instead of playing online backgammon on it, I had an epiphany.

You see, I was driving home from a friend’s house, and my intention was to go home and write a post for this blog.  I felt that familiar battle starting up in my head, the procrastinator versus the creative genius (and the procrastinator wins 90% of the time!).

So I started thinking about what I could do to avoid sitting at my computer and wasting time, and instead use my time productively.  There is certainly no point in my sitting in my little home office, because no matter what I do I will find a way to do two things badly at the same time, or I might simply collapse in front of the TV and do nothing at all.  It’s a long-standing habit I have of listening to something while doing something else, for example reading email or browsing the web.  The net effect is that I don’t get  very much from either source, it’s like trying to converse with two people, on unrelated topics, at the same time.  Ever notice how good listeners are very focused on the topic and don’t dilute it with other distractions, they look you in the eye with all their attention and they listen?  At least that’s how it used be, before this latest age of multimedia multi-tasking, but that’s another topic.

Anyhow, I made a decision to get out of the house when I got home, but not until after downloading some podcasts that I find really well-done and interesting. (If you don’t know what podcasts are, then I suggest you get familiar with them.)  Then the plan was to transfer the podcasts to my iPod so I could go for a walk and listen to the incredible free information from Yaro Starak’s podcast archive.

Just as an aside, I am learning to become a professional blogger, and there is no better source of free information than Yaro Starak’s site, and being a student of his I want to get as much from his website as I possibly can.  But if I sit at home and start listening to his podcasts, I just know I will soon be playing online backgammon as I listen, or answer some emails, or browse some camera review sites, or or or… in other words, only listen with half my attention.

I am really trying my best to be a regular exerciser, but every time I think about my run, another inner-battle inside my head ensues about my unwillingness to go, versus the obvious benefits to both my health and my feelings of well-being.

Lately my knees have been hurting after my runs (I think it’s time to change my old runners), so I decided today just to go for a walk, put a few podcasts onto my iPod, throw my digital camera around my neck, and take off for a walk around Lost Lake (which is right in my neighborhood).  I also had the foresight to bring along a pen and pad in case I learned something worth noting (something that I would definitely not do if I was paying Backgammon!)

So what am I getting at?  Well, ironically, I used my computer to prevent myself from wasting time on my computer.  Isn’t irony wonderful?  I also managed to get some focused listening and learning done, and I got some very enjoyable exercise in one of Whistler’s beautiful forests at the same time.

Anyone who faces the same demon as me, that is the desire to waste time on a computer instead of getting something done on it, I strongly advise that you take a new look at your iPod, it’s also a really fantastic learning tool.

OK, so I got my exercise in, I learned some good stuff, and the walk gave me the idea to write today’s blog topic, which you are reading right now!

Peace.

OK, I’ve been lazy for the past two weeks keeping my blog updated, but I am in the process of trying to put out my first video post.  In the mean time, this little gem is worth reading.

Written By Regina Brett, who is 90 years old

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone…

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield..

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Whew!  What a long and action-packed week it has been.  I’ve taken the week off after my birthday, and spent it with four of my old friends, and a few new ones.  We packed four guys, four cats, two motorcycles, four bicycles, and all our stuff into a pickup truck, and made our way east to sunny Vernon.

I don’t know what it is about having four guys together on a holiday, but somehow beer consumption is deemed to be very important, no matter the expense or the hangover effect, not to mention the high calory count, there seems to be nothing more important than beer.  When it  came to planning anything, beer was the ultimate winner for the top spot on the planning list, followed by food, a close second.

But I digress… My topic for this post is status among friends.  What do I mean by status?  Status is a measurement of respect, and respect is generally achieved with either money or achievement.  The sad truth is that for some of us, who have for some reason or another not found our way in life, not achieved anything noteworthy, or perhaps we’ve tasted success but had unlucky outcomes, we find ourselves at a lower status.

I find status interesting because my own status has fallen.  When I first met my friends fifteen years ago, the beer-drinking friends I spent last week with, we were pretty much of equal status.  None of us had made our mark yet, and we were all eager to do so.  We were in our 30’s and we all had dreams of success.  It was a good time because we helped each other.  One friend taught me about the value of real estate and helped me by my condo.   Another friend became fascinated with computers due to my own experience with them, and took that fascination and built a very successful web business.  We all made a mark and began our path to our chosen careers and ultimately, success.  As time progressed, some continued the climb to success, while others, due to unluckier circumstances, found that success had evaded them (at least for now).  That is also what happened to me.

What has any of this got to do with status?  I am just trying to say that it is natural for people to want to have the respect of their peers.  As some rise in their success, their status also rises.  We respect them.  Conversely, when we fall from success, so does our status fall.  If the successful friend has an opinion, well he’s successful, so he must be right.  If the fallen friend has an opinion, he doesn’t have sufficient rank.  After all, his thinking hasn’t gotten him very far in life, so why trust his opinion?  The successful friend will win the battle, even if he’s completely wrong.  That’s just the way it is.

One of my very good friends has been fortunate in his success.  His status has risen.  Most of us believe what he says because he has achieved authority.  He has money, and he has a family, he has survived two divorces, and he is holding it all together.  Naturally, we all respect him.  But I see cracks in his status, frail little fault-lines in the foundations of it.  He has, on occassion when there is nobody else around, admitted that the big-time beer consumption is based on peer-pressure.  He knows it doesn’t make him feel great.  He knows it costs a lot of money.  But if he doesn’t drink beer among his old friends, it might affect his status.  And given that he has more money than the rest of us, he tends to spoil us and buy more than his share, thereby increasing his status.

He and I also quit smoking at the same time, smoking is bad for obvious reasons, but we both felt that there was an element of shame in being seen smoking by non-smokers.  Shame.  Status.  It’s all connected.

One of my other friends has his own way of coping with his status.  Another of the fallen, he covers up his insecurity with status symbols.  He finds it very important to be seen in an expensive new vehicle that he can barely afford, or to have the latest cell phone, or to be associated with the wealthy.  He is not above name-dropping, and he often boasts when there isn’t a lot to boast about.  He also drinks a lot.  He can barely afford his monthly payments, but he always has enough for drink.  I can’t blame him, we all have our ways of covering up our insecurities.  And his strategies actually work.  His shiny new vehicle does attract the respect of others, so does his fancy cell phone.  But it’s just a strategy, it’s not real.

We often do things for the wrong reasons, just for the sake of status.  I personally want to forget about status, but it isn’t that simple.  It’s human to crave the respect of one’s peers, and I want it as much as anybody.  But I refuse to do it by being boastful, I refuse to exaggerate or deceive just for the sake of winning a debate, and I don’t hide behind status symbols.  However, I can tell you truthfully, that it is very painful to be the low man on the status totem pole. It doesn’t sit well.  I sometimes want to yell out, “Hey, I am important too!”  But that’s not going to change anything.  I have decided to continue on my quest for greater enlightenment, and see if I can rid myself of the need to have status.

My best friend says that status just isn’t important.  I believe him, but until I achieve that level of enlightenment, status remains an unwanted part of my life.

Status is the cousin of of pride, and pride is one of the seven deadly sins.

***The purpose of this blog is to learn how to be happy and successful***